Yesterday I pulled my daughters blanket and pillow out of the dryer and brought it over to the couch. I was about to fold the blanket when the little two and a half year old comes running into the room. I decided it would be a good idea to throw the pillow a good distance ahead of her so she could jump onto it. Well. She was moving a little faster than I thought.. and when the pillow finally hit the floor she was already there.. She tripped over it.. and this kid, like, face planted right on the floor. Thankfully after she picked her face up off the floor she laughed and got up, but man I felt like parent of the year lol.
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9 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Me
1. I have this really weird intense fear (creep factor?) of people dressed up in character outfits.. Like the people at Disney World. I ran one of the Color Me Rad 5ks and there was this white balloon guy.. I just can’t.
2. I love kids! I mean.. There’s always that one little ass hat kid, but most of them are awesome! Lol
3. I secretly like getting up early, but I need something to bitch about, soo..
4. Coffee makes me jittery every time I drink it, but I still drink it every day.
5. When I was in the Army I HATED running, but for some odd reason now I really like it. (yeah NOW right?)
6. I feel like one of those sour patch kids in the commercials.. I’m really mean but also nice. Which I honestly don’t like about myself that much. I wish I was only nice sometimes. My poor friends lol
7. I am done having kids, (DONE) but I REALLY want to adopt a baby someday.
8. Peanut butter is actually really gross. And for some reason a LOT of people judge me for that! lol
9. I had the worst postpartum anxiety after my first kid. But I did not know there was such a thing. I was CONSTANTLY worried someone would steal the baby, or my husband would get hit while driving across train tracks. Seriously. He leaves shit everywhere and I have to ask him repeatedly to pick it up. Well we had a canoe and it was propped against the house. Well it rolled over and filled with water one rain storm and it sat right under my daughters window. I didn’t ask him to move it because I figured if someone was going to break in it wouldn’t be through her window! lol
Question..
Am I the only one that sometimes talks with an accent when I cook?
Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom : Possessed Refrigerator
In an earlier post (My “Liebster Award” post) I stated that I am very sensitive to supernatural things. Let me begin by saying I do not see things, and I do not communicate with things. I feel them and I hear them. It’s not something I enjoy. Its creepy as fuck and it scares the shit out of me. When I hear or feel something I get totally (ok almost totally) paralyzed with fear.
Have you ever felt impending doom? Or that panicky feeling you get in awful situations? Remember that feeling. We’ll come back to that. Alright. Think about that feeling you get when you swear someone is watching you. Got it? Great. Now.. The crazy heart jump you get when you are going down the stairs.. and you think you’re at the bottom and you go to walk away.. but there’s one more step.. That effing heart attack you get, along with the first two feelings, is the feeling I get when something is in the room with me.
Blah Blah Blah. Doors closing randomly, movement in the corner of your eye, the person that yelled in the other room but no one was there.. These are all things that can be explained away. And really, I guess everything can. But this story in particular scared me to the very core.
My husband and I were both home with the kids one evening. It was dark out and I was feeding my son in the living room while my husband was putting our daughter to bed in the room down the hall. As I am feeding him I started getting this eerie feeling, and it kept getting worse and worse.. I swear to freakin God I thought someone or something was going to jump over the counter in the kitchen into the living room and attack me. Within about 5-10 seconds of the feeling first hitting me, I jumped up, grabbed my son and ran out of the living room into the bedroom my husband was in. I told him he needed to come ASAP cuz I was freaked the fuck out. He jumped up and immediately came to see what I was overreacting about. Yes, I am slightly dramatic sometimes.
We leave the room and we hear ..thunk…. ….thunk… …thunk… coming from the kitchen and I can’t put my finger on what it is. I sure as shit wasn’t about to go look. So, naturally, I made my husband go check it out while I peeked around the corner.
The fucking refrigerator is blinking and flashing and the ice maker door flap kept oooooopening slooooowly and then thunk!! Snapping shut. If you touched it it would blink faster.. I mean.. Dear fucking god why me. What the HELL did I ever do to YOU? Well it did that for literally all night and we ended up having to unplug it and replace a piece of the refrigerator to actually make it stop. But not before I took a video of it! (Yes I worked up the courage to go up and touch the thing) This might not be that terrifying to you, but I almost shit my damn pants.
I want to know if any of you are sensitive to this bullshit too and what your experiences were. Don’t leave me feeling alone here, guys!
Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom : The Betrayal
Alright. Let me start by saying even with what he did to me, which I am explaining in this story, I do still love him and I learned to forgive him. It took time and dedication, but we came through stronger that before.
That bastard.
I’m sure some of you know I was in the military and stationed in Kansas. My husband stayed home in New York. I found out I was pregnant and moved home when I was around 5 months. So I was unfamiliar with the area we live in at the time, and had no idea how to get around or where things were.
So here I am, all lookin’ like a beached whale at a good 8 months pregnant, at 12:30am, and I want ice cream SO. BAD. I obviously can’t go myself.. So I turned to my husband.. my dear, sweet, apparently not so loving husband.. and I ask him to go get us ice cream. He looks at me and says “Ugh.. Hun.. The nearest store that is 24 hours is about 20 minutes away. I can go get you some if you want, but it will take me like, an hour to get it. Do you really want to stay up that late?”
*Sigh* Reluctantly I told him no, he didn’t need to go get me some cuz I knew I’d just pass out anyway. Seems like it’s not a big deal right? It wasn’t.
UNTIL A COUPLE MONTHS LATER (almost a year actually) I was at the gas station in the town that is around 8 minutes from our home.. I had been there a thousand times. And I looked over at the sign and it said.. wait for iiiiit.. open. twenty. four. hours. That little prick. He knew I didn’t know it was a 24 hour store.. AND THAT THEY HAD ICE CREAM!! I did not even know there was a TOWN there at the time.
Sneaky little shit. I could have just punched him in the mouth. But! Like I said, we worked through it. And were okay now.
Narcolepsy At Its Finest (with photos)
I don’t think there is a soul on this earth that isn’t aware of the fact that small kids have Narcolepsy. But it’s funny because (most of them) will out grow it. I mean, I’ve been playing hide and seek with a kid and then found them in there hiding place.. asleep.. and NO I did not take THAT long to find them. For reals. I wish I took pictures of all the weird places and positions my kids fell asleep. I don’t even have ALMOST all the pictures. BUT.. I do have a few.
This is my son Michael. He is 9 months old, and he is a total pro at this.
Yeah. He’s asleep.
He is sitting up.. and he was snoring too haha!
Big fat baby belly 🙂
And believe it or not, I DO have pictures of him awake..
See? (I was saying “Bookah bookah bookah!!”) at him in this picture.. So that’s his freaked out face lol
My daughter.. she ain’t no amateur at this shit either. When she’s tired, she means business.
Too much playground I guess!
After her second birthday party. I guess even the mass amounts of sugar she ate was no match for Child Narcolepsy..
In case you can’t tell.. she is sleeping on her legs. folded in half.
I turned around, turned the TV on and turned back around, and then this.
There you have it! the proof is in the puddin’ !! (I think this is the correct scenario to use that saying) and boy do I wish I could sleep like that! (Maybe that’s why it’s called “sleeping like a baby”?) Hm. Food for thought.
Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom : The Tanning Bed
I used to go tanning occasionally. I don’t anymore. Now I go all the time. (Shut up. I know it’s fucking bad for you, I’m not stupid)
Anyway. You know those stupid gold stickers they give you at the salon to cover your eyes? Yeah they end up looking like a weird-ass cone thing? They’re dumb. Whatever.
Yeah. These creepy ass things.
So. I used to do pretty much max time… Every time. Which was not often. Well. Apparently, tanning beds can give you a sunburn, (bedburn?) and I would get one every time. Like a dumbass. Especially in places the sun don’t shine.
Okay. I used to take those stupid pointless (shh, yeah, I know they have a purpose) stickers, and put them over my nips. YUP. My nipples. And they’re kinda sticky, so you can stand up and they will still be stuck to you (haha!) No. But seriously. Do you know how much sunburned nipples suck? No. You probably don’t. Because what kind of moron ACTUALLY gets burned nipples? I do. Okay? Me. And take it from me.. It fuckin’ blows. Or you can go and do it for yourself, you know, for shits and giggles. Let me know how that pans out for yah. No one wants burned nips. For real.
That’s not even all of it though..
I would totally dance around and pretend they were guns.. (think Austin Powers)
HA! I don’t fuck aroouuund! BAM. NO shame. I’m just glad they don’t have cameras in there.. and that I can keep my sound effects at a low volume lol.
#ownthatshit #doitup #confessions
Tell me if you guys have done something weird.. Seriously. Don’t leave me high and dry guys.
Thanks! 😀
Mommy Can't Even's Blog 